Two Great Ways To Stop Beating Up On Yourself
Look, I want to help you on those days/ weeks/ months when you find that you’re spending all your self-talking time and energy reminding yourself of just how bloody useless you are.
Know what I mean?
You’re too old/ flabby/clumsy/ lazy/ disorganized……(well, that’s my list out of the way, anyway)….and you’re surrounded by young women who look great in lycra and think that green tea and avocados are just amazing.
Are you with me here, sister?
There are times when it feels like you just can’t compare; can’t compete. Now we all know that we shouldn’t compare ourselves with anyone else, but it’s just human nature, isn’t it? Especially when we are feeling less than wonderful about ourselves.
However- don’t despair! I would like to share with you a powerful strategy that has really worked well for me and my clients: I call it my ‘ One Small Goal Strategy.’
Set Yourself Up for Success
It’s a simple way to stop beating up on yourself that you can start right away that will give a great boost to your self-esteem and set you up for success.
How Does This Method Work:
The key to your success in this strategy is giving yourself something to admire yourself about. There are two parts to this exercise:
Part one involves spending some time with pen and paper( and coffee in my case)and writing down a list of what you have been praised for in your life.
These could be by other people or things that you’re really proud of yourself. You could go right back to your childhood and school days here, as childhood memories of what made us proud are very powerful.
Give Yourself Time to Read and Enjoy Your List
This may be hard to do at first, especially if you’re really beating yourself up big time, but gradually, if you really give yourself time to think, then a list should appear, bit by bit. Then give yourself some time to enjoy that list, and remember how those events made you feel: this is important because those feelings are the ones that you need to build up your self-confidence.
Part two is to use that list as an inspiration to do the next thing that you could put onto that list. Look at it this way: you need to build your self-esteem and all of those items on your list did exactly that: therefore you have discovered the secret formula to feeling better about yourself.
Just there- on that tear- and- coffee-stained paper; right in front of you.
Now Do Some Analysis:
What sort of things made you feel good about yourself? Were they:
- Things you did for your family?
- At work?
- Practical things you’ve made?
- Exercise goals you reached?
- Books you’ve read?
- People you have made happy?
- Time spent with people who make you happy?
Now Set A Small, Achievable Goal
Now make a choice and set yourself a goal to do something similar to one thing that made you feel great from that list and work out a time limit and a proper plan for achieving it.
Don’t Make it Something Massive:
Make it something that is achievable within the month, so that you’re not going to have to wait for ages to reap the benefit; or possibly lose momentum.
A New Reason To Be Proud
The main goal of this goal is to feel better about yourself and to do it pretty sharpish. That way, you’ll have something else on your list and another reason to stop beating up on yourself.
Success breeds success
When you reach your small goal you’ll be in a much better place to set yourself and achieve a larger one next time- and so it goes on. Celebrate your successes and share them with those you love and you will feel your self-esteem start to grow.