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Mel Robbins: The Five Habits Of Building Self Confidence

Five habits of Growing Self Confidence Posted On
Posted By Christine Foley
Five habits of Growing Self Confidence

These are five super simple things that you can do…and you can start today- tonight. These rules are not difficult, but they will give you an amazing amount of self-confidence and change your life.

Ready?? I’ve learned these five rules from Mel Robbins, and she’s a super successful lady, so I reckon she knows what she’s talking about, so let’s go-

Habit Number One:  No phone in your bedroom

The thing is this: that phone is where everyone is vying for your attention: getting you to buy stuff, do stuff, do stuff for other people. 

Your Phone is a Magnet

If you’re not careful, your phone becomes a magnet- irresistible: you can’t leave the damn thing alone and just live your own life. 

And then who’s in the driving seat of your life- you, or your ‘phone? Come on- be honest: last thing you do at night: check your ‘phone/ first thing you do in the morning: check your ‘phone. 

Break Free from the Tyranny of Your Phone and Claim Back your Life


Time Magazine reported that 33% of people check email in the middle of the night. What on earth ….? Are we really that addicted? 

Mel Robbins suggests that in ten years time we are going to look back on smartphones and technology and have the same reaction that we did with cigarettes like: 

“What were we thinking, marketing this tech… what?” 


Wake Your Phone More Than 150 Times a Day

Mel found research that suggested that the average person in the study touched their phone 2617 times a day. 

“The high touch users were 5400 times, something like 5427. We are not even aware of it. It’s because all that behavior is encoded right here.”

“One of the most important things that you can protect right now is your mind space.”

Mel says – in other words, don’t fill your mind morning until night with other people’s thoughts and demands: instead, listen to your own.

Habit Number Two: When the Alarm Goes Off- Get Up! 

Mel found from her research that pressing the snooze button on your alarm clock impacts your productivity for up to four hours. Boy, that’s a shocker!!

Sleep Inertia 

By hitting the snooze alarm you put yourself in a state of sleep inertia. Mel explains: 


“So, when you and I fall asleep, we sleep in cycles, and we sleep in cycles that last 75 to 90 minutes. And then we do another one, 75 to 90 minutes. And then we do another one, 75 to 90 minutes. 

And then about two hours before you’re about to wake up, your body goes into a state where it’s thawing out like a frozen chicken. Do you know what I mean? It’s like kinda coming to life slowly. It’s no longer in a sleep cycle.

 When that alarm goes off it’s typically in the thaw out stage, but what happens is if the alarm goes off while you’re in the thaw out stage and you hit the snooze button, what do you suppose you just restarted? 

A sleep cycle. How long does a sleep cycle take? And in research, it takes the cortic region of your brain up to four hours to actually shake itself out of it. So you have put yourself in a state by hitting the snooze alarm that impacts speed of processing, ability to focus, all of it. And it lasts about four hours. “

Being Productive is an Essential Keystone Of Self Confidence

You will respect yourself if you see yourself as being productive and creative: you need to view yourself as someone who gets things done and works towards goals rather than spins wheels.

Sleeping in doesn’t align well with this: you sleep in, you’re groggy, you don’t want to do the stuff you need to do to feel good about yourself. Bad, bad, bad. 

Give yourself the 5-4-3-2-1….

  ….and haul ass out of bed- that’s what Mel Robbins suggests and she says it’s worked for her for the past nine extremely successful years of her life, so I dare say it’s a great technique.

Habit Number Three: 30 Before 30

Mel says: 

“ I have developed this habit that has fundamentally changed my business.

Before I look at the phone, before I get other people’s to-do list, I sit down, and I find about 30 minutes. And then there’s a particular way in which I plan. 

This is a game-changer because for those of you cannot find time, this gives you the time you can’t find. The best two hours of the day for your brain are the first two hours.

So if you can dedicate some of that time to the stuff that matters to you, you win.”

Habit Number Four: Focus on One Small Move

Mel suggests that in those 30 minutes that you’ve managed to snatch to plan your day must be planned in a particular way. The first thing is to identify a particular project that you are working on- one, specific thing- just one.

Write Down Why it Matters


“When you identify why something matters to you, you elevate it as a priority in your mind.”

It’s physical: your brain will make this a priority if you tell it to-and that’s really powerful.

 Next Identify One Small Action 

This will change everything for you- untangle all the spaghetti of the overstretched and overstimulated mind. If you make progress on something that matters to you, you will feel good about yourself. If you don’t, then your day feels like a waste of time. Mel says: 

“ It sounds so stupid that these little things work, but they unlock aspects of the way that your brain naturally works to your advantage.”

When You Pick One Small Move Forward it Makes it Easier to Try

Choose a small action and you’re likely to succeed- chose a massive action and you’re likely to get overwhelmed and fail; it stands to reason, doesn’t it? Success is achieved by taking small steps consistently. 

 And when you try, you reduce self-doubt because you see yourself taking action. 

Success is the key to self-confidence- however small. Build a small success and use that as a stepping stone to a larger success. Don’t overwhelm yourself with lots of massive tasks, but move forward in small steps every day.

Habit Five: Plan When You’re Going to Stop

To be honest, this one is my particular favourite. Give yourself a certain amount of time and your task will take a certain amount of time. Give yourself a vague amount of time and your task will take all day….and then some.

I found that to be so true during the lockdown. So give yourself a deadline and then promise yourself something nice at the end of the allotted time. That way, you’re much more likely to complete your task and feel good when it’s done and it’s treat time. 

I really hope these rules help you: many thanks to the amazing and dynamic Mel Robbins for sharing them. What a woman!!

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